Cultivating a Healthy Mind: Lessons from My Own Backyard
Hey Team,
Not long ago, a small moment at home sparked a big realization about mental health and the importance of self-awareness.
One afternoon, while walking through the yard with my wife, I was surprised when she pointed something out to me:
“Do you remember when you used to dislike having clover in the lawn?”
Without thinking, I replied:
“I still don’t.”
But then I paused and looked around... and realized she was right.
Clover had spread everywhere.
It had crept in slowly—one little patch at a time. At first, I noticed, then ignored it, eventually getting used to it… until I stopped noticing it altogether.
It wasn’t until someone else pointed it out that I realized how much things had changed.
That moment hit me hard. It made me realize that this is exactly how negative thoughts can work in our minds.
Weeds and Thoughts Grow the Same Way
Negative thoughts are a lot like weeds in the garden of our minds.
They start small—a bit of self-doubt here, some resentment there, maybe a little shame creeping in.
At first, we brush them off. But as life gets busy, we stop tending to what’s happening beneath the surface of our minds.
Eventually, they grow deep roots and can take over if we’re not careful.
Soon enough, these thoughts turn into negative feelings.
And those feelings often lead to reactive behaviors we might not even realize are connected.
This is where the practice of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) has made a real difference for me.
DBT is predicated on learning to execute concrete skills, repetitively, under stress, to break the chain reaction of:
Negative stimulus → Negative emotion → Negative thought → Negative action.
It’s not about wishful thinking—it’s about developing practical skills to disrupt that downward spiral.
DBT Has Four Pillars—All Built on One Foundation
The foundation is mindfulness—being aware of what’s happening before it controls you.
From this foundation, DBT builds four pillars:
Emotional Regulation – Learning how to manage strong emotions before they become destructive
Distress Tolerance – Building the ability to handle hard emotional moments without reacting impulsively
Interpersonal Effectiveness – Clearly expressing your needs and feelings to others in a healthy way
Self-Management – Taking care of your basic needs and routines, even when motivation is low
It’s a set of skills most of us need—but few are ever taught.
And just like yard work, tending to our minds doesn’t happen automatically.
We have to notice the clover, name it, and pull it out—before it takes over.
The Takeaway: Your Mind Needs Regular Care
If we don’t actively tend our mental gardens, the weeds will take over. But with the right tools and habits, we can take charge of what grows.
So here’s a simple challenge to try:
• Pause and notice what thought keeps showing up in your mind.
• Ask yourself: “Is this thought helping or hurting me?”
• Take one small action today that will support your future mental health.
Remember: Every choice is a seed, and every habit you form is a root.
Let’s grow something strong, healthy, and lasting—starting today.
To clear minds and healthy soil,
Rob
• The author, Rob Sumner, is a Doctor of Physical Therapy and owner of Sumner Specialized Physical Therapy. He's happy to answer any questions about this article, wellness, fitness, or physical therapy overall by phone at (509) 684-5621 or by email at Rob@SumnerPT.com
